We only need to be courageous when we are afraid

It’s that time of year again, and like every year, I am still catching my breath from my birthday in October.


Let’s take a moment together, to slow down, right down, to this present moment…


Take a deep breath in… and breathe out twice as long…


Feel how your body feels right now, right here in this moment… notice those parts of you that may be tensing, and as you breathe, see if you can let go of those places that feel a little tight.


Isn’t that magical? How you’re able to make such a profound change in your state within seconds? I am always so impressed at how powerful my mind is to be able to do that, simply by telling myself to breathe deeper and slower. Simply by becoming aware of my body, and allowing myself to let go.


This is the power we have over our bodies, our thoughts, and our lives – it’s incredible!


This is the power that I want you to become present to as we move into this magical period that is the end of the year. I know we will all be doing A LOT of deep breathing as we forge further into the festive season, especially as final work deadlines loom, festive preparations begin to become priority, accommodating multiple people and their multiple needs, all while trying to have enough time to yourself to rest and recuperate before the start of the New Year!


This is a magical, powerful period in our lives that we revisit each year… It’s truly a time when we are able to stretch into a new-found capacity, we are able to deepen connections, we are able to clear old hurts, we are able to reassess desires, we are able to claim self-responsibility, we are able to practice boundaries, we are able to enjoy self-care. It’s an opportunity to view ourselves as we are at our essence, everything that we like, and everything that we don’t like about ourselves. And each year that we embark through this powerful period is truly an opportunity for us to make magic, if we can become present to it.


So, what am I talking about in this word salad of feeling words?


The festive season brings with it a lot of stuff that a lot of us find difficult to navigate… and that is not by accident…


For some of us we have a bottleneck of work obligations to meet before the holidays, causing a level of stress, anxiety, and sleeplessness that two-weeks-off will never be enough time to recover, even if we slept the entire time. For others we have more quiet time in the office than we had ever imagined we were capable of, so much so that we’ve even resolved to talking to Jennifer in accounts, just to get the time to pass faster, this space leave time to wonder whether you even like your job, or the people you work with. Some of us are realising that we haven’t yet hit the targets we had wanted after vowing that “this year will be my year!” and now were kind of stuck between making a last ditch effort to make it work, giving up and trying again next year, or just totally redefining our target all together.


Family discussions are becoming more centered around food, and plans, and gifts, and in-laws, all while you’re doing your absolute best to keep the peace, in advance, hoping that if you just go with the flow, or actually, “I-will-handle-everything”, hopefully everyone will be happy… this time…


For some of us, it’s the lack of family discussions that hit really hard this time of year. The time spent alone really makes you wonder what’s wrong with you that you haven’t found the love of your life yet… everyone said you would find a great partner, and each year that passes you’re losing hope.


You may be the one desperate for that holiday you booked in August, and you’re just ticking off the list, and the days until you get there, however by the time you actually get to the beach, you’re so exhausted and quite frankly over indulged from the obligatory work, and friend, and family, and extended family, and oh-we-have-time-now-to-get-together festivities that you decide jogging on the beach is something you’ve always wanted to do, and now you have the time. It’s also a great excuse to get some time away from everyone.


During the food-comatose days leading up to New Year’s Eve you probably even declare that this will be the year that you will lose the weight, you will start the business, you will go on the overseas trip (to avoid family Christmas next year), you start saving, paying off debt, and getting yourself out there to make new friends, and build deeper relationships. This is the moment when you decide once and for all that this will be your year!


And as we clink our glasses it’s as if all of this is erased from our memories, basking in the glow of a new year, ready to achieve our success…


We do this every year because every year during this time we are faced with everything we like and don’t like about our lives. We are faced with how we feel about our body, our money, our family, our friends, our food choices, our homes, our spirituality, our values, our vision, our charity and giving, our relationships, our leisure time, our career, absolutely every facet of our life suddenly comes into full view, all at once, in one concentrated time, once a year – it’s quite magical if you think about it…


And yet, how many times do we find ourselves repeating the same patterns?


The only reason why this seems like Groundhog Day is because for so many of us, we have no idea how to do things differently… we find ourselves exhausted, on autopilot (hello subconscious mind), going through the motions, desperately wanting change but not being able to figure out what the missing piece is that will shift everything into a new direction. We keep asking for change, and we keep being presented with everything standing in the way of achieving that change… and then we give up, believing that there is no hope and we might as well just get comfortable with the way things are.


The only way to have what you want, is to clear everything standing in your way to achieving that, and this time of year seems to place a magnifying glass on everything that you need to clear.


This is the missing piece… and you don’t have to do this alone!


Perhaps for you, it’s time to ask for support, not because you’re incapable of doing this for yourself, but because the heavy lifting is easier when you have someone there to help you.


This year to date I have done 192 client sessions and have worked with 120 people in one-on-one, and group containers. Together we have worked on physical pain, procrastination, boundaries, anxiety, relationships, career changes, horrible bosses, strained parent relationships, perfectionism, losing friendships, improving child relationships, asking for an increase, paying off debt, restructuring business, food cravings, hair loss, people pleasing, public speaking, confidence, moving states, grief and losing loved ones, childhood traumas, finding love, defining values, and everything else that comes with being a human who wants to do great things in their life.


I know that this is you, you are the human who wants to do great things in your life, and there is no time like right now, so why not book your first session with me? Who knows what power can come from that hour together? It could be the moment you find the missing piece that will shift everything into a new direction.


It is time to choose yourself… imagine this time next year how different things will be once you have achieved everything you set out to over this next year. See how your family, your finances, your fitness, your friendships, and fiancé (I needed an f-word for love), are everything you’ve ever wanted. See what’s different for you then, and then realise it’s time to choose now. You’ve done the white-knuckling before and that has gotten you what you’ve already got, so let’s do something different this time.


The last thing I will leave you with is this… you will only need courage while you are afraid because if there is no fear, there is no need to be courageous. I get that you might be afraid, because this moment very likely will change everything, and perhaps it’s time to be that courageous person you always thought you would be!